In many families, holiday gifts are an annual way to act out hostilities towards one another. I never know what to give my brothers--they already have huge, flat screen, state-of-the-art television sets and don't seem to have a lot hobbies outside of these. One brother cooks Christmas dinner every year so I started giving him baskets of specialty cooking spices and sauces along with cookbooks. He always looked irritated by this then finally told me, "I don't eat dinner or cook. Just at Christmas."

So the next year I purchased him a beehive for an African family through Heifer International. He didn't like it any better, but at least I wasn't just flushing money. I end up receiving things I will never use, like perfume sets or ill fitting clothing. So we do we continue to allow our ignorance about each other materialize in the form of gifts? My mother told me that she would like a green scarf to go with her new coat. I've never seen this coat and green comes in many, many shades and scarves in many styles. She likes to get me things such as Christmas sweaters, with ducks and wreaths appliquéd onto them. I have never, and will never wear a Christmas sweater.

This year, with the economic meltdown, non-profits are getting hit really hard. Botanical gardens, community gardens, programs for environmental education and the arts need people's help. So buy gifts that do double duty. If you go with a friend to the The New York Botanical Garden just twice a year, the membership that includes parking passes almost pays for itself. Anyone who lives near the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens would love a pass to stroll through the lilacs and cherry trees. For about what a sweater that will end up at a Salvation Army costs, you buy someone season tickets to Public Theater or a membership to Moma or the Natural History Museum. In San Francisco, the new California Academy of Sciences is both a wonderful place to visit and supports all sorts of research and ecological programs. The San Francisco Botanical Garden has classes in everything from botanical art to sustainable gardening. And the The Yerba Buena Center often holds programs that bring together artists, foodies, and the eco-conscious.